My name is Mariana, and my life seems to have fallen into an endless dark abyss, as if being controlled by the devil, and everything is out of my control. Once, I also tried to control my own life, but now, I am getting deeper and deeper in the mire of humanity, and even on the verge of self-destruction.
That day, with a bottle of Scotch in one hand and a joint between my index and middle fingers in the other, the heel of my boot knocking on the tiled floor, I strode into the living room of my parents' manor. My parents took up half of the estate and built this magnificent manor, but most of the time, there were only the two of them and a few servants here. I asked the servant where my parents were, and she looked at my barely covered body with disgust before reluctantly telling me they were in the office. I suppressed the urge to slap her, and the anger in my heart was burning.
Walking into the office, I threw myself at my brother with joy. Today is our twenty-fifth birthday, and our relationship as siblings and friends seems to be getting stronger every year, which is also what our parents expect. However, my father was extremely dissatisfied with my outfit. He has always resented me for dropping out of school, failing to complete combat training, dressing like a whore, and indulging in parties and drugs. In his eyes, I am an irresponsible person. But how could he know the pain and helplessness in my heart, and the sacrifices I have made for the family? Does he understand?
The birthday party was held in the pool house, which was full of people having a wild time. I got together with my best friend Leah, and she complimented me on my beauty, and I teased her that she would be my sister-in-law. My brother came with a sexy and charming stranger, and the man's eyes were fixed on me, making my heart flutter. But at this time, Matthew came up to me, and his strange behavior and words made me wary. Suddenly, he kissed me, and I was in an embarrassing situation. Just then, the strange man appeared, angrily rebuked me, and ended the party in a cold tone, and my world collapsed in an instant.
Later, I learned about Matthew's tragic end, and my heart was filled with mixed feelings. I decided not to sink any further and to make a change. However, fate did not seem to let me go. When I got home, my father found me half-naked and out of my mind, and he was furious with me. He mistakenly thought I was addicted to drugs and believed the stranger's words. Leah bravely defended me and herself, but my father's anger was still hard to calm down. The strange man even proposed to marry me, and I firmly refused. My father's scolding hurt me like arrows, and I looked at my mother, longing for her to speak up for me, but she just shook her head. I felt extremely desperate and could only run back to my room, where my pillow was soaked with tears, and I fell asleep in pain.
This is my life, full of chaos, struggle, and helplessness. Where will I go in the future?
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